By: David Othus


Once you put human life in human hands, you have started on a slippery slope that knows no boundaries. ~ Leon Kass


Setting your personal boundaries is essential for a healthy life. However, we do not set all of our boundaries. Others impose some boundaries around us, but this does not mean that they are all necessarily bad.


Boundaries that people place on us can be from fear, as well as love. If the boundary is set out of fear, such as fearing what will happen if you make them mad, then you need to begin to make changes. Loving yourself will help you set healthy boundaries because you will know your limits and tune into your feelings.


However, other boundaries keep you safe. They are made out of love and protection. These are commonly referred to as rules. Parents set boundaries to keep you safe as you grow and learn. Healthy boundaries are designed to protect your life and dignity.


The problem comes when you realize the boundaries set by others are done out of fear or hatred and prevent you from taking charge of your life. When this happens, you will grow to be resentful. You need to re-establish the healthy boundaries and eliminate the boundaries that hedge you in by refusing to betray who you are and what you stand for. This includes refusing to betray your values, and use psychotherapy or other forms of professional counseling if you were mistreated and need help working through the pain.


When you set healthy boundaries, get rid of your negative self-imposed boundaries, and follow boundaries others set out of love, you will be able to love and be yourself completely. You can then demonstrate true love for others.



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