By: David Othus
“Boundaries aren’t all bad. That’s why there are walls around mental institutions.”
While that quote brings a humorous light to boundaries, Peggy Noonan has a point.
Setting boundaries in any kind of relationship is not only healthy, but also necessary. Boundaries, set in a loving manner, brings with them protection, respect, and understanding to everyone involved.
Parents and children need boundaries. Family members need boundaries. Friendships and romantic partnerships all require boundaries.
When something goes askew in a relationship, it can almost always be traced back to a problem with boundaries, rather a lack thereof.
So, how do you set boundaries with those you care about from a place of love?
First, you must Figure Out What You Need.
Keep in mind that what you think you need on a surface level may not truly be the case at its core.
For example, you may think you need your partner with you constantly. If that were to happen, however, you would likely find the relationship spiraling into an unhealthy codependency and possibly even boredom.
What you may truly be seeking is more quality time together. Time committed to the growth of your relationship where both parties are giving their undivided attention.
What is it that you really need?
After you have done some soul searching on your own and know what you need, it’s time to…
Communicate Your Needs
Once you have gotten to the heart of the matter, it is time to communicate your needs to the other person. You need to be clear and firm. This should be done in a loving and respectful manner. However, do not compromise if it is something that is extremely important to you.
Then…
Consider The Needs Of Others
The next part is to listen to the needs of the other party or parties involved. Remember, setting healthy boundaries involves both sides. You cannot expect a partner to listen to and respect your boundaries if you are unwilling to do the same.
Make Boundaries a Priority
Lastly, once all boundaries have been set, stick to them. Be respectful of your partner’s feelings and boundaries and firm about him or her respecting yours. It is easy to slip back into old patterns, so you may need some time together to re-evaluate and check in. If it doesn’t work right away, don’t give up.
Setting boundaries requires a bit of work, especially if they have been lacking. But, they are the key to keeping resentment at bay and building healthy, respectful relationships. Don’t be afraid to clearly and lovingly state your needs and then listen attentively to your partner.
You may just be surprised how beautifully your relationships change when you take your power back and allow others to do the same!
To find out more about me, go to:
https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveABetterLife